Night Of Suprises
by perverted blue smurf
Summary: While out of town hunting demons Buffy and Willow come across a very familiar figure stripping in a bar.
1. Chapter 1 The Amazing Zorro

                             NIGHT OF SURPRISES.

Setting: after season three but before the start of season four.

Disclaimer: Characters, etc do not belong to me which you would know unless you don't then yes, their all my own invention. (I wish.). Au-ish. This is a very early attempt at fanfic writing so please don't hurt me!

          Willow and Buffy pushed their way through the crowd. 

Fighting her way through Willow let out a noise of disgust. "Ugh, I can't believe that I'm in a place like this." 

Buffy nodded. "Well it was life or death. We had to stop here." 

Willow grumbled. "At least we had to chase that demon out of Sunnydale, can you imagine what my mother would say if she found out I even looked at a place like this." 

Buffy laughed. "It's not that bad Will. I mean you can't expect the place to be cleaner than clean, but with a name like the Ladies Night it could be worse."

            Willow and Buffy pushed their way to the restrooms. Bursting through the door they rushed to the sinks and began to scrub their hands. 

Buffy let out a sigh of relief. "At least this goo is coming off. I thought I would have had to walk around forever with this gung on my hands." 

They exited the restroom and tried to make their way back to the door. They were stopped by a burly bodyguard. His voice seemed to rumble in his chest. "Two drink minimum. Each." 

Buffy put on her best little girl face. "We just came in to use the restroom, honest. We didn't even look at the stage." The bodyguard just stared at her and pointed to an empty table. 

            They turned. Willow whispered to Buffy. "You can take him, and then we're outta here." 

Buffy surveyed the joint. "Him, yeah. But not those other guys over there too." Willow slumped into a chair in defeat. 

A surly waitress came over for their orders. "What'll you have?" 

"4 cokes please." 

The waitress scribbled on a small notepad. "Zorro's comin' up next. He's a favorite with all regulars here." 

She walked off leaving a protesting Willow. She looked over at Buffy who was bopping to the beat of the music. All of a sudden the lights dimmed and a microphone crackled to life. "Ladies tonight for your viewing pleasure we have the master of the sword. The man that can send women wild with one raised eyebrow. The masked avenger for the poor Spanish of California. The one, the only. Zooorrroo."

            A well-built man charged past the curtains separating the backstage area. A wild cheer went up through the women and Buffy and Willow were pushed out of their chairs and closer to the stage.

 Willow groaned and covered her eyes. "Tell me when it's over." 

Buffy stared wide-eyed at the stage. Never taking her eyes off the dancer Buffy remarked to Willow. "This guy is hot, no wonder they love him." 

As the articles of clothing vanished wheels turned in Buffy's head. She turned to Willow and pulled her hands off her eyes. Gesturing towards the stage Buffy said, "Will look at him, does he look familiar to you?" 

Willow glanced at the stage and went bright red. "He's not Oz but he does look vaguely familiar.

            At that moment the dancer turned towards them. His eyes widened and he stumbled, before shaking his head, turning back and continuing his act. Those eyes were very familiar to the both of them. Willow and Buffy had been looking into them for years. 

Willow and Buffy glanced at each other and gasped. "XANDER????!!!!!!!"


	2. Chapter 2 The Full Monty

                        NIGHT OF SURPRISES

CHAPTER 2 

Setting- same as chapter one, in between season three and an AU-ish season 4.

Disclaimer- These characters are not mine, if they were you would have seen Xander's time as a stripper. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and whoever else owns them.

Note- Originally Night of Surprises was only going to be a one chapter fic, but thanks the great reviews I got and my muse finally returning from her extended vacation I decided to turn it into a three part fic. So enjoy part 2.

**

Willow and Buffy stood frozen in the crowd. Women scrambling to get closer to the stage jostled them from all sides.

Buffy's mouth opened and closed silently, and Willow's eyes bugged. They couldn't believe that that was **their** Xander up on that stage dancing in ways that… "Oh my!" Buffy blushed.

The crowd went wild and pressed closer to the stage, finally freeing the immobile Buffy and Willow.

As another item of clothing was thrown into the crowd a thought crossed Buffy's mind. She grabbed Willow's arm. "Oh god Will. What if he does the Full Monty?"

Willow's mouth dropped. She shook her head. "No, no he won't do that. He can't."

The door to the female restroom opened and a woman in her late 30's came running out. She stopped by Buffy and Willow. "I didn't miss it did I?"

Buffy shook her head, confused. "I don't think so… miss what?"

The woman smiled indulgently. "You'll see." She followed his movements with her head. She grinned wickedly. "Milk did his body good. I can't wait for the big finish. And believe me I mean BIG!" She laughed.

Willow blanched. "Oh no!"

The woman leant forward eagerly. "Oh, here it comes!"

Xander had stripped down to a pair of clingy boxers. The crowd began to chant. "Take them off. Take them off."

There was no way he was going to, no those boxers left nothing to the imagination anyway, there was no reason to…

"Oh My God!" Buffy gasped. She knew it was wrong. Xander was one of her best friends and yet where had he been hiding all that… No, no it was wrong to do this to Xander but still she couldn't look away.

Willow had covered her eyes with he fingers when the roar coming from the crowd of women had increased. She was now, however, peeking through the slits of her fingers and turning a combustible shade of red.

Buffy and Willow were still in a daze when a hand fell on both of their shoulders. They turned to find a very annoyed Giles and Joyce. Giles huffed. "Well really, you come in here to wash your hands and we find you ogling these… poor excuses of the male species."

The woman beside them laughed. "I would not call that last one a poor excuse. He is yummy, I could just eat him up for breakfast."

Willow and Buffy glared at her and she wisely backed off seeing the fire in their eyes.

Buffy gestured towards the stage. "Xander."

Joyce looked confused. "What about Xander?"

Willow eeped and reddened even further. "He was here."

Giles looked around. "I sincerely doubt that."

Buffy stamped her foot. "No we mean on stage. Xander stripped. He's a stripper."

Giles began to laugh. "Do you really expect me to believe that Xander has lowered himself to become a stripper?"

Buffy nodded. "Not only that but he's the most popular one here. And I can prove it." She turned and marched towards the doors that lead to the back stage area.

"Buffy." Giles shook his head and pushed his way through the crowd to reach her. Joyce grabbed Willow's arm and followed closely behind. 

By the time Giles, Joyce and Willow reached Buffy she was already arguing with the guard. 

"I'm sorry lady but I can't let you in here. It's employees and by invitation only."

Buffy waved his comment away. "We were invited. Xander Harris, we're his friends."

The guard snorted. "Nice try lady. Sorry, no go." The guard turned away from her to stare at the wall.

Buffy turned red, he was totally snobbing her. She checked carefully to make sure no one was watching then pulled back her fist and let it fly. Her fist connected with the side of the guards head and he slumped into his chair. 

"Buffy!" Joyce scolded.

Buffy shrugged. "I had to Mom, he wasn't going to let us in."

She pushed the door open and led them into the backstage area. It was just a corridor with a few rooms connected, kitchen access and the access to the stage. Buffy made her way down the corridor reading the names on the doors. She reached the end of the corridor and turned to face the others. 

Buffy pouted. "It was him, I know it was. I just can't find his dressing room."

Willow and Joyce had stopped in front of a door. Willow glanced at the name on it, fastened with sticky tape. She squealed. Grinning triumphantly Willow pointed the door out to the others. "This is it. It's Xander's room."

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them. "Are you sure?"

Willow nodded vigorously. "Yep, see look it says Peter Parker."

Seeing the looks on the others faces she explained. "When we were kids we always used to play Spiderman. Xander always said that he always wanted to change his name to Peter Parker."

Giles rubbed a hand over his face and Joyce still remained confused.

Buffy grinned at her. "Good going Will."

They stared at the door. Joyce finally sighed and reached over Buffy and Willow to knock.

After a few seconds the door opened revealing a partially dressed, distracted Xander. Without looking up he continued to get dressed. "Hey Tom. That is definitely the last time I do that. No more for this Xan… er Peter, no sir. With tonight's pay I finally have enough to buy that used car and then I am out of here. Back to loving arms of my waiting friends. Gotta tell you I thought I saw them tonight. No way would they come to a place like this though. Willow would combust before she stepped foot through the door…"

He finally looked up. "Uh oh."


	3. Chapter 3 The Trouble With Anya

            NIGHT OF SURPRISES

CHAPTER 3

Setting- same as chapter one, in between season three and an AU-ish season 4.

Disclaimer- These characters are not mine, if they were Buffy would have skinned Oz and presented him as a get well gift. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and whoever else owns them.

Note- This is the last chapter of my Night of Surprises story. I'm sorry I really wanted to put in Cordelia, Angel  or Lindsey but I didn't think that would be right so I added Anya instead. This chapter is like a prequel to season 4. I hope you enjoy it!

**

She turned restlessly. Ever since that night she couldn't get the image of Xander looking and acting like that out of her head. He plagued her dreams.

Her breath caught in her throat as the details of the dreams returned to her.

His roughened hands slid down her legs before skimming back up her body to grasp her face. His lips were harsh and commanding, then gentle and coaxing. She held onto his shoulders, the intense look in his eyes taking her breath away. He leant down, placing his lips next to her ear. "I love you." A shiver ran through her body as he prepared to-

Anya groaned. Stupid Xander Harris!

Sure she had nice thoughts about him when she was in Sunnydale and when she left, but it wasn't until she saw him up on that stage that her dreams had been so…"

"Arrrr." Anya threw back the bedcovers and started to riffle through her suitcase.

It was all that Slayer's fault. She took Xander away, on the night that she planned to approach him. Anya had watched as the slayer, her mother, the witch and that old British librarian had bundled Xander into a car and took him away.

She grabbed her keys, what she needed was one of those muscular himbo men, that should take Xander Harris off her mind. And luckily there was a nightclub just down the road.

            **********************

Anya sighed, sitting in the bed, the sheets. She just didn't know what was wrong with her.

It had all started alright. The male was handsome enough, not to mention he had all those pleasant bulgy muscles. He kissed her and it was okay, a little wet but not too repulsive.

She had pushed him onto the bed and tried to explore those nice muscles. "Whoa Babe, this is not how I do this. I'm on top." His voice was like a nail through her brain.

Kissing her way down his chest she mumbled. "Shut up. No talking."

Himbo rolled them over and began to tear at her clothes, his face buried in between her breasts.

Anya stiffened. This wasn't right. She pushed against him shaking her head. "No, no get off. This isn't right."

The Himbo ignored her. Tears formed in Anya's eyes. She looked around, desperate for a weapon. Spotting one on the bedside table she stretched her arm out and grabbed it.

She tried one more time. "Please get off me."

The Himbo raised his face and grinned. "Yeah right. Come on you've been asking for it since you walked into the club."

Anya's eyes hardened and her tears stopped. With all her might she brought the phone crashing down onto his skull.

He stumbled back. "Owww. You stupid bitch, that hurt." He moved towards her.

Anya began grabbing objects off the bedside tables and lobbing them at the Himbo. Ducking a lamp the Himbo finally got the hint and left the room.

Anya sat on the bed for what could have been a few minutes or a few hours. Wiping the tears from her face she sighed again. Wearily she rose and started to pack her bags, she couldn't stay here anymore. Picking up one of her skirts she smiled. She had been wearing this when she first really noticed Xander.

There that's what she was going to do. If light bulbs could actually appear when people got ideas then Anya would have sworn that there would have been a light bulb large enough to fit a lighthouse above her head.

Quickly Anya finished her packing and paid the bill. Starting her car Anya began singing along with the radio as she pointed her car in the direction of Sunnydale and the man that haunted her dreams.

She grinned. "Watch out Xander Harris, here I come."


End file.
